MB Punk
29 June 2011 @ 09:15 pm


THIS.



Monday was this year's edition of Raw Roulette.

CM Punk's promo, that closed the show, was the single greatest thing that has happened in the PG Era. Hands down. Don't even try to argue with me. This tops everything. I haven't blogged about wrestling in almost 8 months, and this promo made me blog, even if it is just me posting a clip of it and then marking out about how great it is.

I don't even care to argue if this is a real shoot or a work. It's fucking brilliant. If it was entirely scripted it's so well done that I don't even care. General consensus is that it *was* fully scripted, considering CM Punk got "suspended" right after it happened at the taping for next week's Raw which began immediately after this promo. Still. I don't care if it's a work, even if it's obvious that it is a work. It's brilliant.

I'm gonna stop marking out / rambling and just let you watch the video so it can speak for itself. And yes, on top of everything, he is, indeed, wearing a Stone Cold t-shirt.
 
 
 
MB Punk
19 November 2010 @ 09:32 pm
Here it is, Ladies and Gentleman. OLD SCHOOL RAW! *squee!* So excited for this. We even open with old school graphics and the arena in Hershey, PA is decked out in WWF regalia, complete with METAL audience barricades. Annnnd, Cole announces himself and King as McMahon and Ventura... and uses the word Vintage in the first 3 seconds of the show, lol. WHAT DOES JUSTIN HAVE ON HIS HEAD!? Ohman, such a bad wig. So, our MC for the night is Mean Gene Okerlund! Nice. Agh, all of this is so epic already.

Gene's first guest is "Cowboy" Bob Orton, who comes out wearing his trademark cast. Gene is about to announce Randy Orton's entrance, but Bob Orton says that Randy didn't realise the show started an hour early... so he still isn't there. Sorry, Hollywood, I only show up 5 minutes before the show; when did Orton become a Primadonna. Also, was anyone else confused by what Bob Orton said about teachers and Cena being the guest ref? I was... maybe I just wasn't listening closely enough (I do have an ear infection of sorts, so it is a little hard to hear).

Anyway, Orton Sr. is rambling away and all of a sudden is interrupted by Barrett's music and Barrett comes out with this "who the fuck is this old dude ruining my show" look on his face. He tells Orton Sr. to listen closely because he will defeat Orton to win the WWE title. Barrett, in true heel fashion, tells Orton Sr. (and Okerlund, lol) that the only reason he didn't bring The Nexus with him to beat them up is because he wants them to be fully conscious when he beats Orton Jr. on Sunday.

After all of that, The Miz comes out and pulls the incredulous card. Really. Best part of this bit "Squinty Orton eyes" ... yes. Maybe I do love Miz's promos. I might have to start admitting that. Anyway, Miz threatens to cash in, maybe even tonight to foil Barrett's plans for Survivor Series. Miz looks so impressed with himself and Barrett kind of has this look like "I'm pissed off about that, but I don't want you to know it." Miz points out that if this happens, Cena would have to be in The Nexus forever, lol. So, obviously Cena isn't too happy about that and he pops up on the JumboTron. "Miz! Hey! You've got this weird gift of just ruining every single thing you touch. I dunno how you do it. It's fascinating, actually." Cena tells Miz he's going to make sure nothing gets cashed in tonight, because he wants to GTFO of Nexus. Cena says tonight he will protect Barrett from a cash-in because Cena is challenging the Miz to a match. Cena says if Miz is as awesome as he says he is, he should accept. Alex Riley tries to talk Miz out of it, but Miz isn't having it and he says he makes the decisions around here, and he accepts Cena's match. Love A-Ry's RAW is WAR shirt, BTW! Awesome! Too bad that kid got pulled over for a DUI :( We'll see what happens with that.


Dolph Ziggler (c) (w/ Vickie Guerrero) v. Mark Henry

Interpromotional match here. Love seeing the Smackdown! stars on Raw. So, they do an old school picture-in-picture promo from Dolph while he's doing his ring entrance. And he says that he and Vickie are the hottest couple since Macho Man and Elizabeth. I lol'd. I lol'd harder when he said the sweetest thing in Hershey isn't the chocolate and then looked at Vickie.

So... continuing with old school revivals... out comes Dolph's opponent "Sexual Chocolate" Mark Henry. Hilarious. This is almost as bad as Viscera in the cigar jacket trying to seduce Lillian. So, at this point, Cole is already complaining that this whole "old school" thing is getting carried away, and then he turns into the Primadonna complaining that he and king actually have to sit on steel chairs to do commentating and then demands his leather chair. Lol. So, it's official, Cole is just really crabby cuz he has hemorrhoids. That's why he wants the soft chair. Yup, went there. "Do you know how uncomfortable it is for me every week sitting next to you? Doesn't matter what kinda chair we're in!" "You're a Cole Miner!" bahaha, best exchange ever.

I'm a little confused by the WWF ring-theme though. Don't they blur out the WWF logo on WWE Vintage Collection when they show old matches? If so, why are they able to show it here? Maybe it's a different logo they blur. And only in Hershey, PA would you ever hear a "chocolate" chant, might I point out. Another thing I'm confused about: I don't follow NXT, so maybe I missed something, but what happened with the Kaitlyn love triangle. That just kinda fizzled away, didn't it?

Just noticed, even the refs have old school gear on! That totally makes me miss Hebner! That man could really pull off the bow tie, lol. And about 5 minutes after I notice that, Cole points it out and also adds that they look like Chippendales. Lol. Not so much...

So, Dolph tries everything he can to put Henry away, but Henry keeps kicking out. Dolph finally locks in the Sleeper, and puts Henry out. Love that they're really selling that finisher. Dolph wins.


After this match, we cut backstage to DH Smith and Tyson Kidd. They've had a couple of scuffles lately with Kidd becoming a bit of a turn-coat, but it looks as if here they are trying to reconcile (even if Kidd has this really smug look of betrayal about him). Also, who the fuck tucks their t-shirt into their trunks, honestly??



And to make this segment even worse, Tony Atlas is there... and he's talking... rambling. Please tell me he isn't going to start laughing. ...Oh, Lord... he has a can of... WD...40 .... and he's spraying it on his skin. Weird. As soon as Atlas turns his back, the Hart Dynasty run away. Good call. As we cut to commercial you can hear King saying "Is that WD40!?" LOL. Yes, yes it is. And then we return from commercial and Atlas is still blabbering away, while trying to tape his wrists and doing a poor job and taping them together. Yoshi Tatsu (wow, he still works for WWE? When was the last time we saw him?) is there now, and looks just as unimpressed as I am right now, lol. He then mimes stabbing himself in the abdomen to escape the torture that is Tony Atlas. Wow.


Heath Slater (c) & Justin Gabriel (c) v. The Hart Dynasty

So, earlier this week, Jeff Hardy made fun of the new WWE Tag Team belts on his Twitter. Which I thought was a hilariousness of epic proportions considering how terrible his new Immortal title on TNA looks. It's hideous! It looks like the Diva's title almost. It's silver and purple and hideous! AGH! Can't even fathom that he'd go there, lol. Just leave it alone, Jeff. Basically, that belt is going to stay on Hardy for an incredibly long time... just because no one else will actually want to be seen in public with it.

Match starts out with DH Smith and Justin Gabriel squaring off. Smith looks like he has the match won with 3 Suplexes on Gabriel, but Slater breaks up the cover. Shortly after, Slater tags in and Smith starts to work on him. Gabriel tries to hit Smith from the apron and the distraction is enough for Slater to gain the upper hand. Quick tags in and out and they have Smith isolated in their corner and have gained the upper hand over the larger man.

Slater bounces off the top turnbuckle after Smith side steps him. Finally, Smith is able to get to his corner to make a tag, but Kidd side steps the tag and then kicks Smith in the face and leaves. Smith, unable to make a tag, and dumbfounded by his partner's further betrayal is hit by Gabriel with the 450° Splash. Gabriel really worked fast to take advantage of that, and wasted no time getting the cover either. Usually he has time to clutch his ribs after the Splash, but here the pin was crucial. Still feel really bad for that gorgeous man's ribs every week, though. Kidd looks really proud with himself, too.


Backstage, Orton Jr. has finally arrived. R-Truth tells Orton what he needs to do. Orton is sick of everyone knowing what to do, but has a plan of his own. Orton says he's going to Punt Cena in the head tonight. Is it just me or does it always look like Orton is wearing shirts cut for women? The arms are really tight (ok, he has huge biceps) but they're also a lot shorter than sleeves would be on a regular men's t-shirt. And, the sides of the shirt cut in really close to his body as though the shirt is tapered for a woman's figure. It's kinda weird. Just my observation though. Sad bit about this segment, you can see Okerlund's hand shaking pretty badly when he's holding the mic :(


The Brooklyn Brawler (w/ Harvey Wippleman) v. Ezekiel Jackson

This match is already awesome, because Hall of Famer Howard Finkel is back to announce it! Awesome. Love the I ♥ Mayonnaise sign (re: Sheamus) behind Finkel during this. Also, this: "Harvey Wippleman! Remember he was once the Women's' Champion!" lol.

Is it just me or does Brawler look like the lovechild of Sandman and Vladimir Kozlov? Anyway, he's pissed because Hershey apparently doesn't respect Old School and he wanted a standing ovation for his entrance but didn't get one. So, Wippleman announces that Brawler is now having an open challenge against anyone from the new school who is willing to take him on. Also, another great line from Cole: "Is that Mike Chioda with the, uh, Charles Robinson hairdo?" OHGOD. Chioda in a wig. Most hilarious thing ever.

So, after a bit of time, Ezekiel Jackson comes out to accept Brawler's challenge. When Zeke comes out, Cole welcomes Brawler to 2011... This just in, Cole lives in the future! I think we need to recalibrate his flux capacitor.

Anyway, thankfully for the old man in the ring, Zeke makes quick work of this match. Surprisingly, Chioda was able to keep his wig on for the entire run of that match! Maybe that's why it was such a short match... they wanted Chioda to be able to keep his hair on.


After that, we cut backstage to The Nexus and Cena. CeNexus backstage stuff is always so great!




John Cena v. The Miz (w/ Alex Riley)

So, lol, during Cena's entrance he tosses his hat like usual, but he botches that and it lands back inside the ring, so he makes a :| face and picks it up and gives it to a little kid at ring side. Cute. The kid doesn't look very impressed though, lol. Then Cena fixes Chioda's wig, lol.

So, The Miz starts out running his mouth. Says that Cena sanctioned the match, not the GM, so The Miz is going to make a substitution if the GM does not mind. Nothing from the GM, so Miz announces that Alex Riley will be taking his place in the match. Presumably so that The Miz can still cash in against Orton tonight.

During this match, Cole addresses the fact that he said it was 2011... twice. Apparently, Old School is really getting to him. lol.

So, Miz gets a cheap shot in on Cena while the ref is busy with A-Ry and A-Ry gets an advantage in the match after Cena embarrassed him in the early minutes. Can A-Ry stay on top? Probably not. Anyway, about 3 minutes after that, Cena is able to make quick work of Alex Riley submitting him with the STF after telling The Miz "you can't see me."

Then, Orton runs in, apparently to take on The Miz (not Cena). But then, McGillicutty and Harris swarm Orton. Orton is able to fight them off and then he stares down with Cena. Orton looks so different with hair, btw, lol. And is it just me? He looks skinnier? Like how Angle got real gaunt when he moved to TNA, but maybe not that back. So, Cena and Orton go at it and 4 refs try to get them to stop fighting. Then a bunch of dudes in suits also get into the ring to break things up (who are those guys, btw??). Annnd then the GM has to chime in.

The GM announces that Cena and Orton will sort their differences out later tonight on Piper's Pit! Yay! Roddy Piper's back! Hopefully this time he isn't reading his lines off of his hand like he did when he was at the MSG show.


Cut to commercial, then this happened:



I lol'd.


The Foreign Legion Old School & New School

Ohman! Nikolai Volkoff and The Iron Sheik! The Foreign Legion! Awesome! And, Finkel announces that Volkoff will sing the Soviet National Anthem. For the first few seconds the audience is respectful of the Hall of Famer, but then there are a few scant boos, and then out comes Santino and Vladimir Kozlov.

Santino says that Kozlov wants to sing with Volkoff. This should be good! lol. Annnd there the USA chants start, and Kozlov, who's laughing is just like "Oh!" I felt a little bad. Anyway, they're both terrible singers for this. And even Santino can't contain his laughter. He has to stop them short, and Kozlov looks pretty perplexed lol. Santino has a song he wants to sing. What, is he the new Jillian? Anyway, he wants the help of Slick (an Old School manager) to sing. While Slick is singing, Sheik tries to say something, but I have no idea what he was saying (due to the accent, the singing and my ear infection combined, lol).

I also find it a little disturbing that Sheik is wearing a shirt with his own image on it. It's a little strange. Sheik then starts berating USA and saying Russia and Iran are number one, and Santino tries to be a mediator saying "he's a legend!" ...is that supposed to make us feel better?

Anyway, out come the Usos for their match with Tamina and Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka.


Santino & Vladimir Kozlov v. The Usos (w/ Tamina & Jimmy Snuka)

So, the winner of this match will receive a shot at the tag titles. Pretty important stuff. I'd have to guess that The Usos are gonna pull out the win.

Anyway, somehow The Cobra won the match for Santino and Kozlov. So, they will get a shot at the tag titles. Then, Sheamus runs in... takes out Kozlov, takes out an Uso and then goes after Sheamus. I'm betting Tamina saves Santino's ass. NOPE! John Morrison runs out and takes on Sheamus. I guess we'll see a program between these two. Perhaps a nice set up for Morrison to be WWE Champion soon. Morrison finally explains why he's doing this: Sheamus is a bully, and Morrison is willing to fight. Sheamus, however, backs down and heads backstage.


David Otunga v. Kofi Kingston

This match was made by the GM when Barrett wanted Otunga to face R-Truth, but the GM said he had a special match for Otunga instead and Barrett would be facing Truth. So, the opponent is... Kofi Kingston! I really wish I could get excited about this match, but I can't. Sorry.

OHMYGOD! So, during this match, out comes George "The Animal" Steele, complete with a green tongue. Wandering around like an old man escaped from the retirement home. So, he starts going crazy at the turnbuckle, and the ref tries to control him, so he goes after a different turnbuckle and starts eating it. Hey, I would too! It's filled with popcorn! Otunga is so confused at this point. I bet he doesn't even know who George Steele. So... the distraction is enough for Kingston to take advantage of Otunga. He throws him into the exposed turnbuckle, hits Trouble in Paradise and picks up the pinfall win, as George Steele wanders back out of the arena. Lol. So weird. "Did you say George "The Animal" Steele has a cyst!?"

"Classic George Steele!" "Not 'vintage'?" "I used that already."


So, some weird shit went down backstage where Aksana was like, kidnapped and Goldust decided to return the Million Dollar Belt to DiBiase Sr. and then DiBiase Jr. says he wants something other than a hand-me-down. Jim Duggan was there too, and so was Cody Rhodes and Dusty Rhodes... what a weird-ass segment. IRS and some other old dudes were there. Then Tatanka and Kelly Kelly showed up and everyone had an impromptu dance party. AND WAIT FOR IT....

The best thing that could've happened to end this segment! Because it was exactly what I was thinking!!!! "DAMN!" from Faarooq! Awesome!


R-Truth (w/ Eve) v. Wade Barrett

So, during Truth's entrance, Cole raps over Truth's rapping. All I heard was "Crunk! Junk! Skunk! That stunk!" Hilarious! Almost makes me forget how much I miss JR.

To end the match, Barrett tries for Wasteland, Truth counters, but then runs into a Big Boot from Barrett and Barrett sets up Wasteland for a second time. This time, he hits the finisher and wins via pinfall.


Alberto Del Rio v. Sgt. Slaughter

So, Tito Santana and Chavo Classic come out with Del Rio for his entrance. Del Rio runs his mouth and then out comes Sgt. Slaughter with the interruption. Thank goodness. "You puke! Scum! Maggot!" annnnd cue the USA! chants. Lol. Nice.


Surprisingly, Del Rio accepts the match. Remember how long it too him to accept a match with Mysterio and Christian? Anyway, he calls for a ref, and in pops Chioda -- sans wig! What happened to the wig?? *sadface*

Sarge tries to lock in the Cobra Clutch twice, but can't. Del Rio eventually wins the match and then tries to break Sarge's arm after the bell rings. Then MVP runs out to save Sarge and challenge Del Rio. The crowd is actually fully behind MVP and we even get an MVP chant. That was a little surprising for me. Feel sorry for Sarge though, kind thought he was gonna pwn Del Rio.


After that, and after a lame WM27 ticket sales package, Gene Okerlund introduces Mae Young who comes out with the assistance of the Bella Twins. I love old people, so much.

They show a package of Mae Young moments, mostly her kissing a bunch of people, lol. At least she can still laugh at herself. Anyway, Okerlund is trying to have a, er, heartwarming moment and then LayCool come out to tear her up. "Is this Old School Raw? Or, like, Jurassic Park?" And then they tease her about the fact that they have a Championship and Mae never had one. Actually, this was kinda sad, just because I find old people so endearing.

Okerlund asks if Mae has anything to say. And Mae says "I want you to give me a match with these sluts! [...] you little bitches! Let's go!" annnnd she wants it to be no DQ. LayCool try to run away from her, and the Bellas still have to help her walk (still sad!) Anyway. Mae gets the back up of all of the Divas, and then LayCool try to high-tail it, but the Divas attack them. Mae even slaps the make-up off of Layla. And thanks to a comment from LayCool, it's also falls count anywhere. So, Mae puts her foot on the downed Layla and a ref runs in from nowhere and gives the 3 count. Glad Mae got some revenge.


Jack Swagger v. Daniel Bryan (c)

So, before this match.... OHGOD... Finkel announces that THERE IS A GUEST COMMENTATOR FOR THE MATCH... GOOD OLD JR!!!! Cole is furious! LMAO. I definitely expected a bigger audience pop for JR, though. JR totally cold-shoulders Cole too. It's awesome.

Would've loved to see JR call one of the Dolph v. Bryan matches, but I guess this will have to do. Love how proud Daniel Bryan looks to be here tonight, though, too.

Also, I love when King picks on Cole. "You could write your life story on a piece of confetti!" and I love when they cut back to the announcers and Cole looks like he's sleeping. Annnd JR just keeps ignoring him, lol. I love when the commentary is more exciting than the match.

As we go to commercial Cole says he hopes the match ends during commercial so that by the time we return JR is already on a plane back to Oklahoma, and then asks where Vince's personal jet is so that they can get him out of there. Meanwhile, King is encouraging JR to just knock Cole the fuck out, lol. We return from commercial to see this (LOL!):



Best part of this match is the epically glorious Missile Dropkick from Daniel Bryan at about the half-way point of the match. And Cole begging for the match to end so he can be rid of JR. "How about a little less talk and a little more shut the hell up!?" lol King. Cole then promises to get a white cowboy hat for next week and sell his own BBQ sauce, then he starts yelling "BOOMER SOONER!" when Daniel Bryan kicks Swagger's head off.

Anyway, after the match, DiBiase comes out and attacks Daniel Bryan. Guess we have a new contender for the US title. What the fuck is up with DiBiase's dirty ass beard? I am a huge fan of beards, but that sorry excuse for scruff is just gross, and dirty. Anyway, DiBiase lays out Bryan and then takes his belt, stares at it enviously and then lays it on the downed Bryan.

Cole then quickly ushers JR out. JR continues to ignore him. Poor JR, lol. When JR finally does leave, he smacks Cole around a bit with his cowboy hat. Cole just yells things at him while he walks away like, "That's unprofessional! Why don't you grow up! I run this place! He can't do that to me!" LOLOLOLOLOL.


Before the Piper's Pit segment, we get to review all of the Legends who spent the night with us on RAW this week. Here they are (minus Piper who is still to come):




Piper's Pit: Rowdy Roddy Piper, Randy Orton & John Cena

I have to say, Roddy Piper looks A LOT better here than he did at the MSG show (either earlier this year, or last year). So, I'm expecting him not to have to read lines off of his hand this time. he actually looks good! Last time he looked so haggard and drunk. He looks like a healthy old man now! Proud of you, Roddy! Honestly, it's like night and day. I swear this is a different person, lol.

Roddy even calls Barrett an SOB. Ahaha, I marked so hard. He guilt trips Cena, too. Saying that if he gives Barrett the WWE title, it's equivalent to spitting in the face of all the Legends and Hall of Famers who never won the WWE title, including Roddy Piper himself. Piper urges Cena to do the right thing.

Cena admits that he might not know what the right thing is because, "It's not that easy." Piper starts to interrupt, but Cena begs him to listen. Cena says he is full of respect for every single Legend. He even gets a little choked up, it seems. Cena says he's done a lot of thinking... he doesn't want to be the guy that just gives the title to Barrett. Then some kid in the audience screams out "NEVER GIVE UP!" and Cena's breaks just to say, "You're damn right." ... I dunno why, but I enjoyed that bit. Cena then says that whoever wins will have to earn it and he promises to call the match right down the middle regardless of the consequences.

Then, Barrett comes out, because obviously he's not happy with that. Barrett agrees with Cena, and says that he doesn't need Cena's help either way. Barrett compliments Cena on being a great wordsmith, but says that the fact they are only words is just the problem. He says Cena needs to face the reality that if Barrett doesn't win, Cena is finished. BTW, who the hell invited Barrett to the Pit? I thought this was supposed to be Cena and Orton. Anyway, Piper promptly tells Barrett to shut up and then yells at him, "Look at me when I'm talkin' to you!" when Barrett looks away. Piper tells Barrett that if he lets Cena just hand him the title he's nothing but a joke. Cena just stands back, watching and trying not to laugh. Barrett's a little peeved at this point and wondering who the fuck Piper thinks he is.

Barrett then points out that this is Cena's final Raw as part of the Nexus perhaps his final Raw ever, so he wants to do something. OHMYGOD I GOT CHILLS BECAUSE I KNEW EXACTLY WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN AS SOON AS HE SAID IT... BARRETT IS FINALLY GOING TO MAKE CENA WEAR THE NEXUS SHIRT OR ELSE HE WILL FIRE HIM ON THE SPOT OHGOD MARKING OUT SO HARD RIGHT NOW IT'S RIDICULOUS!!!!! NOT ENOUGH CAPS TO CONTAIN MY MARKING!! AGH!!

So, clearly I am not watching this live since this review is late. Which also means that I obviously saw spoilers while this was actually on, and shortly after. I saw spoilers about JR, spoilers about Mae, BUT SOMEHOW THIS NEVER CAME UP IN THE SPOILERS AND MAN AM I GLAD BECAUSE SEEING THIS WITHOUT KNOWING IS SO ENTIRELY EPIC AGH!!!!



Cena promises to "turn [Barrett's] face into mush" as soon as the match is over on Sunday. Barrett promises that although Nexus is banned from ringside during the match, as soon as it is over, they will come out to neutralize any threat at all.

Finally, Orton comes out. He's the real second guest for this edition of Piper's Pit. I guess he's just fashionably late... it's what Primadonnas do, right?

Orton's still pissed that Cena counted 1-2-3 on him last week, so he really wants to Punt him. Cena's just kinda like "well, what's stopping you?" Orton says nothing is stopping him, but that he has a better solution. Instead, Orton goes after Barrett. Piper and Cena just stand back and watch the chaos. Where's The Nexus to save Barrett?

Interestingly enough, just when Orton is about to strike, Cena steps in between them. But as soon as Cena's gaze shifts to Barrett, he gets hit with an RKO and Orton goes after him looking for the Punt. Orton can't find it and instead finds and Attitude Adjustment from an angry Cena.

Barrett then orders Cena to raise his hand in victory. Cena starts to but then pulls Barrett into an Attitude Adjustment, too. After Barrett is laid out, Cena rips off the Nexus shirt and tosses it onto Barrett. So much for a Cena heel turn. But what I don't get, is that if Barrett came out all saying he was ok with Cena calling it down the middle, and saying he could beat any Superstar without Cena's help... why wouldn't he just fire Cena anyway?
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
 
 
 
MB Punk
10 November 2010 @ 07:01 pm
So, Undertaker was buried alive by Kane with the help of The Nexus at Bragging Rights. Creepy-ass Undertaker montage starts out this episode of Smackdown. Then, we cut to Kane, kneeling at 'Taker's grave with Paul Bearer at his side. Kane tells us that the "saga" is over, and Undertaker is never coming back. Oooh.

There's like, a funeral-looking set up in the ring for Kane's eulogy. But, what was with Paul Bearer stroking the flowers?? Weird. Lol.

So, Kane asks everyone to bow their heads in a moment of silence for his fallen brother... and that is interrupted by Alberto Del Rio. What. The. Fuck. Smackdown really is on a downward spiral, isn't it? :P

Del Rio says he wants Kane's title. Kane is enraged about being interrupted. Del Rio slaps the urn out of Paul Bearer's hands... and then Rey Mysterio comes out to deal with Del Rio. Del Rio escapes, and instead, Paul Bearer gets hit with the 619 while he's trying to protect the urn. Then Edge runs in and Spears Kane. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. Someone was fucking scatterbrained when they wrote this segment.

Backstage, Del Rio is talking to Teddy Long demanding a title shot. Long says no. Del Rio asks to be made the Number One Contender, then. Long says no, but agrees to put Del Rio in a match to determine the Number One Contender... along with Edge and Rey Mysterio. Triple Threat match... tonight! Even with that announcement, the opening segment still doesn't make much sense.

Anyway, onto Ziggler v. Bryan III! They've already stolen the show twice already on the PPV and on Raw... after that opening segment, I have no doubt that this match will once again be the high point.


Champion v. Champion match (Part 3): Dolph Ziggler (c) v. Daniel Bryan (c)

I have no comment on Vickie's outfit. None whatsoever. I wouldn't even recommend that you look it up to see what I mean. Just don't. Forget it ever happened and let's just move on.

So, match starts out with Ziggler dominating. He's looking to redeem himself since he's lost this match twice already!

So... lol. Chioda takes a bump and he's down for a bit. Ziggler hits a Zig Zag and pins Bryan but Chioda is down. Vickie counts the pinfall and instead and starts celebrating with Dolph. Chioda finally gets up and he's pissed. There's some arguing, and Bryan kicks Ziggler in the head and is able to pick up a very solid 3rd win over Ziggler. Definitely the highlight of the night.

It's made even more hilarious when Vickie continues yelling at Chioda after the match and Chioda's just like "it's my job" and keeps pointing at the WWE patch on his shirt, lol. Poor guy.


Jack Swagger v. Kaval

So, I still don't understand why Tyler Reks was on Smackdown's team at Bragging Rights instead of Kaval.

Kaval puts up a valiant effort, but the match ends as pretty much a squash with Swagger getting pissed, dissecting the ankle and locking in the Ankle Lock in a span of less than 4 minutes. Kaval taps.


Divas' Hallowe'en Costume Contest

The Bellas totally stole my and my best friend's costume ideas for next year. It makes me a little sad.

So, LayCool run their mouths as always. Melina stands up to them, and this turns into a heels v. faces 8 woman tag match. Ugh.

The only good part of this match was the Dick Grayson / Adam West reference made when the Bellas tagged in and out. Lol.

Surprisingly, this segment actually lasted long enough to get a commercial break. When we return Rosa Mendes is getting her leprechaun ass handed to her by Bat-Bella and Kelly Bo Peep.

Things turn chaotic, but everyone quickly clears the ring and Kelly Bo Peep gets the pinfall on Rosa.


Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre v. The Big Show & Kofi Kingston

McIntyre calls out Slater & Gabriel, says they're coming for the titles. Rhodes announces that this tag team now has a name for itself: The Dashing Ones. Yeah. That happened. I'm not calling them that. Sorry.

Kofi was actually a pretty good choice. He's a firecracker with speed and agility and also a former tag champion. Good choice, Show! Not sure that this entire pairing of Show v. Rhodes and McIntyre makes sense, or if adding Kofi to the mix makes it make anymore sense... nonetheless, we should see a pretty good match here with these four Superstars.

Awesome commentary in this match about Dashing Cody Rhodes teaching Cole how to "manscape" and the announcers having a private giggle, presumably, about how manscaping usually refers to the nether-regions, lol. And then making fun of Cole for saying "tapes" rather than DVDs.

When Kofi finally tags in The Big Show, the match is easily won via Chokeslam on Cody Rhodes with Drew McIntyre just watching as Rhodes asks for help. Ha.

And then after the match and after the break, Cody and Drew have a lovers' quarrel and pretty much break up as a tag team so they can pursue singles' straps. FASTEST TAG TEAM DISSOLUTION EVER! Man.


Triple Threat match: Edge v. Rey Mysterio v. Alberto Del Rio

At least Smackdown is trying to spice up their crappy main events by having matches like Triple Threats? That's a bonus, when almost the entire card sucks, right?

Anyway, as I mentioned earlier, Teddy Long made this match at the top of the show and it will determine the new Number One Contender for Kane's World Heavyweight Championship.

So, i was wrong about this match spicing things up. It was actually really boring. Edge won. Not surprising. New Number One Contender. Kane comes out after for the stare down.
 
 
 
MB Punk
26 October 2010 @ 10:32 pm
The Fallout from Bragging Rights live in Green Bay opens with quite a bit of pyro. I guess they saved a lot of money with the lack of pyro in Bragging Rights, so they had plenty of money left to spend on pyro to open RAW. Yes, I'm even being cynical about pyro now. This is what the PG Era (and all that comes with it) has done to me. Let's move on.

Also, how can you call the Bragging Rights cup "coveted" when it's only been around for 1 year and only 1 team covets it? Anyway, I digress.

Raw starts out with The CeNexus (complete with their Tag Team Championship belts) coming to the ring. Cena follows a couple steps behind the rest, though, still in his CeNation gear. Barrett does not look impressed. Huge pop for Cena, but once Barrett starts talking, he gets even bigger heat. Nice. Barrett takes time to introduce the members of the Nexus. When he finally introduces Cena, Cena just waves his hand in a "you can't see me motion" and says nothing. Anyway, Barrett is pretty pleased that The Nexus were responsible for burying The Undertaker at Bragging Rights. But why!?

Barrett tells everyone... it's none of our business, but they had their reasons. CHEAP. Barrett then tells us that he defeated Randy Orton and then orders Cena to tell them what happened. Cena says Barrett was about to get "beat down" by Orton, so he interfered to get Orton disqualified so that Barrett won the match. Barrett disagrees with this account and says that he was "well on [his] way" to winning when Cena decided to "inexplicably" enter the ring and attack Barrett. Barrett is especially angry that Cena handed the title to Orton (even if he did get RKO'd after that). Cena plays semantics saying that Barrett only ordered him to help him win the match, not the title, so he can't be fired. Everything is sunshine and ponies!

Attention please! The GM says that Barrett won the match and therefore is entitled to a future championship match, but there has to be a special guest referee this time! The ref will be chosen by the winner of tonight's main event: Orton v. any member of The Nexus. The crowd immediately starts chanting for Cena. Barrett's already made his choice though, and it is indeed, Cena. Of course, he had to pick Cena, this is a must-win situation, and Cena will have to win or be fired.

But that's not all. Otunga has issues too. Cena ignored him in their tag title match and then got an Attitude Adjustment for his troubles. Otunga thinks Cena should be fired. Anyway, Barrett decides to make a title match: Otunga and Cena v. Slater and Gabriel. I'd much rather see these belts on Gabriel and anyone, so I guess Slater will do. Interesting angle! I really dig this Nexus stuff. So, the match is about to start, but Barrett says to hold on -- The Nexus doesn't fight amongst themselves, so he decrees that someone must lay down and throw the match. It looks like he's going to make Cena do it, but then he says that Otunga must be the one to lay down and throw the match to Gabriel and Slater. I kind of wonder what the point of putting the belts on Cena and Otunga was if only to get them on Gabriel and Slater the very next night. Why not just put them on Gabriel and Slater on Sunday? That could've worked just as well.

Anyway, Otunga and Barrett argue for a bit. Barrett and Slater both urging him to do it, and Cena telling him not to. Finally, Otunga lays down and allows Slater to pin him. Congrats WWE, you have successfully made a mockery of your tag titles. You could've avoided that by just having Gabriel and Slater fight at the PPV. Anyway, new champs celebrate. Otunga hangs his head in shame and Cena leaves in anger.

Up next, Vickie comes out to avenge what happened last night in the Ziggler/Bryan match. She says that the refs were biased toward RAW... so... why wouldn't you have your rematch on Smackdown, then Vickie? That would make more sense than having it on RAW, wouldn't it? Anyway. Kaitlyn is here this time too for the first time in a little bit, so we'll see if she comes into play. But, at least we get to see a rematch because this match was the highlight of the night at the PPV.


Champion v. Champion rematch: Dolph Ziggler (c) (w/ Vickie Guerrero & Kaitlyn) v. Daniel Bryan (c)

So, the match is about to start, but then Punk's music plays. Punk walks out to ring side, and the match begins. So, Punk is on commentary for this match, and he says he's here to scout talent. Punk eludes to scouting Bryan. Does that mean we're gonna see a Daniel Bryan / CM Punk feud? Cuz I'd be down for that! ROH! ROH! ROH!

Anyway, back in the ring, Bryan is showcasing various submission holds.

"CM Punk, one night only!" "I should be here every night!" Yes, Punk, you should.

Momentum finally shifts in Ziggler's favour. Bryan countered the Sleeper but then ran right into a kick from Ziggler and went down. Ziggler went for the ZigZag, but missed. Bryan tries to steal a pin, but Ziggler rolls through and gets a near fall.

"This match is the greatest thing to happen in Green Bay in a long time." "The Packers won last night!" "Who?" Oh, Punk! Hilarious.

Match continues and Bryan finally locks in the LaBell. Vickie tries to interfere by pulling Dolph's let under the rope. The ref sees none of this and Ziggler taps out. Bryan is 2-0 against Ziggler. Ziggler/Bryan II was just as great as the first time. Punk applaud's Bryan's performance, and Ziggler almost attacks Bryan from behind, but Bryan turns around in time and Ziggler retreats. Great not-so-subtle set up for a program between Bryan and Punk, though.

And like I said, why would you want your rematch on RAW if you thought the refs were biased? Would they not be biased on RAW still? That being said, I find it interesting that the match was once again lost due to "ref error" of sorts. Maybe we'll see Ziggler/Bryan III on Smackdown this week! That would be cool.

Hey! Toby Keith is our host tonight! That's pretty exciting. His new song, Bullets in the Gun is actually pretty great. Can't wait for them to make a video for it (if they haven't already) the song reads like a movie script, it's epic.


CeNexus, Backstage

Cena confronts Barrett saying that the tag match was "bush league" but Barrett just says that's what Cena gets for trying to find loopholes. I'm a little confused as to why Otunga had to set the example for Cena rather than Barrett just ordering Cena to lay down.

Cena finally gets ultimately frustrated and says that being fired, or quitting is the same thing, and rips off the Nexus wristband. Barrett tells Cena not to be rash and says that if Cena wins the match tonight against Cena he will make Cena an offer he can't refuse that will benefit the both of them. Interesting.


LayCool (c) v. Melina & Gail Kim

Short match with LayCool making quick work of Melina winning off of a blind tag without Gail even coming into the match. That was pretty flawless.

Usually I complain about how short Divas' matches are, but when you have Gail Kim in them, it helps to keep them as short as possible so there aren't any botches. Keeping Gail out of the match also helps with that.


After the match King and Cole remind everyone that Tuesday is the last day to register to vote for the vote next Tuesday. And King makes light of the fact that you won't be allowed to wear WWE merch to the poles. Is that really appropriate? I dunno. It's kind of a serious issue. Not sure that poking fun at it on air is such a great idea.


Team RAW Fallout: The Miz & Alex Riley, Eve & R-Truth

Miz says that while he is superior to everyone in the arena, he is not a miracle worker. "But my talent doesn't just speak volumes, it screams 'awesome!'" That was actually a pretty good line. Anyway, so this segues into Miz plugging the SDvR 2011 game and even proposes a new game cover, with Miz all over it. He then goes on to say that Team RAW should've been 7 Mizes instead of 1 Miz and 6 losers. Is it just me, or has Miz taken on the same tone/vocal inflection etc. as Jericho? It's kinda weird listening to him talk, actually. Anyway. I think we should see a handicap match: Team Smackdown v. Miz. But instead, Miz calls out Rey Mysterio.

Instead of Mysterio coming out though... Eve's music plays and she makes her way to the ring. Miz gets pretty cocky in this next bit. He says he knows why Eve is out here, but tells her that she doesn't have to apologize for the Divas because it wasn't their fault. Instead, he says, she should apologize for her horrible "taste in men, music and hair extensions that don't quite match, and that Sugar Dumpling, is the Truth." Nice stab at R-Truth there. Please tell me we don't have to see Truth and Miz feud though. Miz does have a point though, Eve's hair looks pretty terrible tonight, which is weird because normally she's gorgeous. But I dunno, baaaad hair tonight.

Eve says she's not here to apologize. She tells Miz that everyone knows that he's "nothing but a 15 minute flash-in-the-pan, brainless, laughable, thick-headed, half-witted, uninspired, frog-faced loser!" Eve should really cut more promos, cuz that was awesome. She tops everything off with "and, you're ugly" and then Alex Riley gets pissed and is all "shut the front door! [..] you think you're fancy, huh?" ... I dunno, I still think Eve owned them even with A-Ry's line about the RAW Roster going to the unemployment line. A-Ry and Miz dismiss Eve and just as she is about to leave, out comes R-Truth off. Did anyone not see that coming? Time to Knuckle Up, Miz.

R-Truth wants a piece of "Mr. Kermit" ... really? That is what you came up with to follow up "frog-faced" ... I'm a little disappointed. So, Truth says he has no problem showing Miz that the Truth hurts, when the RAW GM chimes in. According to Cole, all the email says is "ding, ding, ding" ... that, I kind of love. This RAW GM just keeps getting better, not even Cole can fuck it up. So, the match is official.


The Miz (w/ Alex Riley) v. R-Truth (w/ Eve)

First bit of the match, Truth knocks Miz out of the ring. Cole and A-Ry are yelling at The Miz to get back in the ring. During the break Truth continues taking it to Miz, but when we return, The Miz has the upper hand.

Considering Truth is now standing up to The Miz, I guess there isn't an R-Truth heel turn as I briefly speculated a couple of times in the past few weeks.

Toward the end, R-Truth and The Miz end up on the outside. A-Ry attacks Truth when the ref's back is turned. Eve stomps over and slaps A-Ry right across the face. A-Ry looks like he's going after Eve, and Truth flies through the ropes, kicking him into the retaining wall. Truth goes for a Scissor Kick, but Miz ducks it and pulls Truth into the Skull Crushing Finale to steal the win and, according to Cole, set an example.


Sheamus v. Santino (Special Guest Ring Announcer / Guest Host: Toby Keith)

First, I am impressed that Toby Keith can come out wearing a Canadian Tuxedo and not get made fun of. I mean, he's a big star, and I like his music. But I do lose some respect for him for wearing the Canadian Tuxedo. Second, a question: why does Toby close his eyes when he talks? Did anyone else notice that?

So, out comes Sheamus. And then Toby announces Santino who is very timid and tentative on his way out. It was a little amusing, actually. Toby Keith gives him some words of encouragement, and finally Santino gets fired up and gets into the ring. The fire doesn't last for long though and after about 5 seconds Sheamus has the upper hand in the ring and is already looking for the Brogue Kick after about 2 minutes. Santino falls out of the way of the kick though, and the match continues.

At this point, John Morrison runs down to the ring, trying to tell the ref that Santino is not ok. Santino can't stand up at this point, and JoMo wants the match to stop. Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick again, but Santino once again falls over (seriously, what's wrong with him?). After the second missed kick, Santino is able to steal a pin on Sheamus and he actually wins the match. Sheamus is shocked and irate. JoMo and Santino celebrate, even if Santino has no idea what's going on.


John Cena (w/ Wade Barrett) v. Randy Orton (c)

Stip on this match is that if Orton wins, he gets to choose the special guest referee for his WWE Championship match against Barrett at Survivor Series, but if Cena wins then Barrett gets to pick the ref. Let's be honest, it's pretty obvious that Cena will win here, right? And when he does, it's pretty obvious who Barrett will choose as his ref. But let's for a minute imagine that Orton were to win? Who would he choose??

Anyway, I guess that's really not important, but I thought it was an interesting thing to think about at least for a little while. ... to my surprise, Cole and King actually muse on that thought too. I told you it was interesting!

Barrett tries to get involved at one point (uh? Why?) but Orton fights him back.

Cena gets his little fired up sequence, but then a shift, and Orton goes into his and then tries for the DDT off the ropes on Cena, but Cena counters it and throws Orton over the ropes to buy himself some time. The ref is checking on Cena and Barrett tries to interfere. Cena runs out and shoves Barrett away so that he can't get involved. Orton then tries to toss Cena into the barricade, but Cena reverses it and Orton is down again.

So, really. I don't think that Barrett understands this whole DQ thing. He wanted Cena to help in his match against Orton at Bragging Rights -- Cena would've been DQ'd ultimately, Cena gets Orton DQ'd Barrett wins, but is still pissed off because of how Cena interfered. And here, Barrett keeps trying to interfere, but if he does, Cena will be eliminated and Orton will get to pick the ref which definitely will not favour Barrett at all. Really makes me think that Barrett is not up to snuff on the DQ rules and such.

Finally, Cena locks in the STF. With the ref's back turned, Barrett pulls the rope away so it's harder for Orton to get to it. Cena sees this and goes out to yell at Barrett not to interfere in his match. Doesn't Barrett realise that even if it would guarantee that he wouldn't be fired he won't throw any match whether it's in favour of The Nexus or not. Cena has to actually win this match for himself, he can't just be like "Fuck Nexus" and lay down. I don't think Orton would let him do that anyway. So, Barrett has to realise that Cena is actually trying to win the match and really doesn't need any help.

Anyway, Cena finally busts out the Attitude Adjustment, but Orton kicks out of the cover. When both men finally recover, Orton hits an RKO, but Cena rolls out of the ring and therefore Orton cannot make a cover. Orton goes out and pulls Cena back into the ring; Cena's near unresponsive. Cena just lays there on the mat and The Viper waits. Possibly looking for a Punt. Barrett pulls Cena out of the ring and Clotheslines him with a smirk on his face. Cena wins via DQ and Orton is livid. Love that Barrett totally stole Cena's plan even though it pissed him off. I guess... uh... that Barrett really does understand DQ rules, cuz that was pretty clever. So, Orton drags Barrett into the ring and starts attacking him but The Nexus complete with new members Husky Harris and Michael McGillicutty come running in to attack Orton. Barrett orders everyone to stop and orders The Nexus (not Cena) to get out of the ring. Barrett announces that he now gets to choose his ref.

Barrett already knows who he's picking, and I think all of us do too. No surprise, he picked John Cena as the special guest referee for Survivor Series. Then, Barrett issues the stipulation that if he does not win the title at Survivor Series, he will fire Cena on the spot (why didn't Barrett think of that at Bragging Rights?) Barrett also puts this one the table: when he wins the title, Cena is relieved of all Nexus duties. Cena drops to the mat grateful for that, but still torn about what to do.

Cole said it best: Randy Orton is screwed. No more loopholes. But... I don't wan this to end!

Anyway, lots of talking this week, not a lot of wrestling. I thought that was TNA's job?
 
 
 
MB Punk
24 October 2010 @ 10:49 pm
I missed two matches, but I will watch them either Monday or Tuesday and update this post once I have. For now, here are your Bragging Rights results and my thoughts:



Who will get the right to brag? Over the next three hours we will find out! Team Smackdown! looks to defend their Bragging Rights trophy, Kane will try to bury his brother and of course, Barrett looks to earn his first championship with the help of John Cena.

Show opens with Vickie Guerrero shouting at us. Fuck, I would rather watch TNA and have Don West shouting at me. I dunno if it's just the all-black look, or if Vickie's been working out, but she looks like she's getting trimmer. Haha, King commented on her wearing black because it's thinning, too. She looks pretty good, though. The blue and red ring also looks awesome!


Champion v. Champion match: Dolph Ziggler (c) v. Daniel Bryan

Just like last year's Miz v. JoMo match, here we get to see RAW's US Champion, Daniel Bryan go head-to-head against Smackdown's Intercontinental Champion, Dolph Ziggler. I am impressed that they would kick off the show with this match, since I think it is bound to be the best match on the card.

At one point near the beginning of the match Dolph Ziggler tries to hide behind Vickie, but Daniel Bryan just jumps over the ropes and over Vickie to get to Ziggler. Ziggler is in and out of the ring for the first bit of the match, not allowing Daniel Bryan to really do anything. Huge Daniel Bryan chant in the audience, love it.

As expected, lots of back-and-forth in this match and more near-falls than I can count!

Ziggler goes for the Zig-Zag, but Bryan counters it and then kicks him in the head. Another very near fall. More back and forth. Daniel Bryan tries for a German Suplex off of the top rope. Ziggler counters into a cover, Bryan kicks out and rolls through into his own cover, but Ziggler kicks out. This prompts a "this is awesome" chant, and indeed it is. Just after this, both men collide in the center of the ring and both are down. The ref starts his 10 count, but both men are eventually able to get up and they start trading blows.

At one point, Ziggler thinks he has the match won, and even starts celebrating a little bit, but the ref, who was in great position to see Bryan, notes that Bryan put his foot on the ropes before the three count. The match continues as Dolph tries to lock in the Sleeper.

Shortly after this, Bryan locks in the LaBell and Dolph quickly taps out. Daniel Bryan wins. RAW 1 - Smackdown 0. Dolph and Vickie leave to a chorus of "You tapped out!"


Tag Team Championship match: Cody Rhodes (c) & Drew McIntyre (c) v. David Otunga & John Cena

Rhodes and McIntyre come out to brag about how great and dashing they are. After a few minutes of this, the RAW GM sends an email. The GM says that RAW does have a team worthy of facing Rhodes and McIntyre for their titles. Cue The Nexus' music. Wade Barrett comes out and says that this will be the greatest night in the history of The Nexus because he believes he will be the WWE Champion tonight and that Otunga and John Cena will be the new Tag Team Champions. Barrett announces Cena as "fellow Nexus member" ... Rhodes and McIntyre's faces drop. Cena runs right into the ring -- to his own entrance music and still in his own ring gear. So, he's not completely Nexus yet, but he does still have to follow Barrett's orders. I wonder if this'll go the same way the tag match with Tarver went?

So, awesome, impromptu Tag Team Championship match. CeNexus v. Rhodes and McIntyre.

Match starts out with Rhodes and McIntyre quickly going to work on Otunga, keeping him isolated.

--
-----
-------


Million Dollar Championship match: Goldust (w/ Aksana) v. Ted DiBiase (w/ Maryse)

--
-----
-------


Unified Divas' Championship match: LayCool (c) v. Natalya

Ahahah! Brett Favre text message joke. Real talk: ew. Yup. So, LayCool come out and make fun of Minneapolis and some other heel-y talk. And Natalya comes out just before I got annoyed of their voices, great timing. So, Natalya will be facing Layla for the title and Michelle will watch from ring side.

Natalya tries for a Sharpshooter, but Layla has had enough. She gets out of the ring, grabs her title and starts to leave, with Michelle at her side. Natalya runs after them, tosses Michelle aside and grabs Layla by the hair and takes her back to the ring. The ref's back is turned as they scuffle near the ropes. Michelle walks by and kicks Natalya in the head, which allows Layla to get the pinfall on Natalya and LayCool retain.


World Heavyweight Championship Buried Alive match: Kane (c) (w/ Paul Bearer) v. The Undertaker

So, unlike Hell in a Cell which was once a rarely-used match to end a feud for good, Buried Alive actually still holds that connotation. As announced during this PPV, there have only been 4 previous Buried Alive matches and The Undertaker has been a part of all of them.

Also, is it just me, or is the whole coming-up-from-under-the-ring segment better suited to 'Taker's return from being buried alive? It happened this week on Smackdown, but I think it would have been better had 'Taker lost this match, and and then re-emerged a couple weeks/months later in the same fashion. As though he were digging himself out of the buried alive situation.

'Taker starts his assault on Kane before Kane even gets to the ring. I'm a little sad this match isn't the last match of the night, but it makes me hopeful that the WWE Championship match will have an epic ending.

Minneapolis starts chanting "We Want Blood!" ... really? Or did I mis-hear that? Nope, that's what they said. Thank you, Minneapolis, for saying what we are all thinking!

So, the brawl makes its way into the stands. Keep in mind, the grave site is up by the top of the entrance ramp, so wherever you get your opponent at his weakest, you then have to drag him to the grave. I love the old nerdy-looking security guard just watching like he's not interested when the brawl makes its way to some stairs in the audience.

The fight makes its way back to the ring. Undertaker hurls 3 steel chairs from near the announce table into the ring while Kane is down. I had looked away for a second and when I looked back the chairs were flying. I almost started to mark out thinking the fans were throwing the chairs into the ring ECW style. So, surprisingly, Undertaker is dominating. There are 3 chairs in the ring, Undertaker rips off the top of the announce table and throws it in there too. Both men are in the ring and 'Taker looks for a chair shot, but Kane rolls out of the ring and the match goes back into the audience.

Also, there are a lot of people wearing either Purple or Orange Cena gear in the audience. Is it a coincidence that I hate Cena and that purple and orange are my two lease favourite colours? I think not.

So, another short scuffle in the audience and we make our way back to the ring. Kane rolls into the ring and grabs one of the steel chairs. Kane gets in two shots on Undertaker and buys himself some time. He gets up after a few seconds and hits a third and fourth chair shot and then chokes 'Taker with the chair for a bit before hitting the fifth and sixth chair shots. With 'Taker down, Kane looks for the Chokeslam. Kane hits it, but both men are tired at this point, and the grave is pretty far from the ring for a tired man to lug a 300lb man. 'Taker gets up from the Chokeslam and Kane is looking for a second. Kane hits the second one, and then drops to his knees in front of Paul Bearer who is yelling "you've got him!"

With those words of encouragement, Kane begins to drag 'Taker in the direction of the grave. He pulls 'Taker out of the ring, slaps him across the face, and then slings him over his shoulder and carries him up the entrance ramp. 'Taker finally gets his senses back and they trade blows on the ramp. Quite a few blows are traded, actually.

Undertaker ends up with the upper hand... if you can call it that, since he looks pretty tired at this point. Kane tries to run away, but runs toward the grave. Undertaker looks for a Chokeslam of his own, hoping to land Kane in the grave, but Kane fights out of it, and kicks the Undertaker to the grass (lol, yes, they have grass near the grave for whatever reason even though it's inside the arena). 'Taker is a couple of inches from the grave, and Kane tries to drag him into the hole, but as Kane is grabbing 'Taker's feet, 'Taker pops up and locks in Hell's Gate. Kane struggles, eventually taps out (but that won't help) and then Kane passes out. With Kane out, 'Taker breaks the hold. Paul Bearer is watching this from the other side of the grave.

'Taker rolls Kane into the grave, but is too tired to get up to cover him with dirt... which will inevitably buy Kane some time, I hope. Bearer is hiding behind the headstone. 'Taker sees him, and Bearer pleads with 'Taker... but 'Taker grabs Bearer and pushes him down into the mound of dirt. Will 'Taker bury Paul Bearer with Kane!?

It looks like Bearer is about to be tossed into the grave too, but then out runs The Nexus (WHAT DO THEY HAVE TO DO WITH THIS MATCH!? -- interesting swing though). So, 'Taker tries to fight them off, but can't and eventually he gets attacked by all of The Nexus and Kane is able to crawl back out of the hole.

Kane has the urn in hand, and The Nexus are holding 'Taker. Kane hits 'Taker with the urn and 'Taker rolls right into the grave. Kane tosses the urn into the grave too and The Nexus begin shovelling the dirt on top of the Undertaker. Huge heat from the crowd. Even Barrett is there helping! ...where's Cena?

Kane eventually shoos away The Nexus. He does his pyro cue, and then a bulldozer (or, as Mauro Ranallo tweeted "Frontloader of Doom!") dumps the rest of the dirt onto the grave and Kane wins, retaining his title.

So, after Kane is given his title and leaves the grave site and his music plays, Undertaker's gong sounds, lightning and then his music plays, with a close-up shot of the tombstone, and his T graphic (from Ministry days) superimposed over top of it.


Bragging Rights Elimination Tag Team match: Team RAW (The Miz, CM Punk, John Morrison, Ezekiel Jackson, Santino, R-Truth & Sheamus) v. Team Smackdown! (The Big Show, Rey Mysterio, Jack Swagger, Tyler Reks, Kofi Kingston, Alberto Del Rio & Edge)

So, last year, Big Show turned on Team RAW allowing Team Smackdown! to get the win. This year, we have CM Punk and Edge who both recently switched brands. Will they end up as turn-coats, too, or will we see a more fair match?

Best sign in the audience for this match: "Back off Tamina, He's Mine!" ... shown when Santino makes his entrance, lmao. How sad.

Also, I noted that while CM Punk debuted his blonde hair at a house show, we have not yet seen it on a televised show, but his hair has been getting lighter, as though it was the blonde being dyed over repeatedly... here it's the lightest we've seen it without it actually being blonde. It's actually pretty cute!

So, Show comes out with Team SD's mascot, Hornswoggle but Jack Swagger is sans the Swagger Soaring Eagle tonight! Thank goodness.

Unfortunately, this is elimination style. Unlike last year. Even though they announced like, a week ago that it wasn't elimination... pretty much the very next show they changed their mind and announced that it would be. Let's see if that really makes any difference once we see the outcome.

JoMo and Reks start out the match. Eventually, Reks eliminates Santino. We're 7-on-6 and in comes Big Zeke. Reks tags out to Show and the two big men go at it. Then we see Mysterio and Jackson. Mysterio tags out to Kofi and they try to double team Zeke, but can't. Zeke isolates Kofi in the RAW corner and tags in Sheamus. After awhile of Team RAW having control, Kofi finally builds momentum against Sheamus, but he gets distracted by Alex Riley, and Sheamus plants him. Shortly after, Sheamus is able to hit the High Cross, and eliminate Kofi. Rey Mysterio comes in next, but Sheamus isolates him too and tags in CM Punk. The crowd is actually behind Punk too! Surprising considering he's in the ring with fan-favourite Rey Mysterio.

Punk gets a near-fall on Rey, and then tags Sheamus back in. Sheamus works on Rey for a bit and then Punk tags back in. Punk and Rey scuffle for a little big again, and then Del Rio tags in and goes to work on Punk. Punk ends up on the outside, and Del Rio tosses him back into the ring. Rey Mysterio is also down on the outside, and instead of going after Punk, Del Rio tosses Rey into the audience barricade. Show is yelling at Del Rio and Rey is reeling looking like he's going up the entrance ramp to the back, with trainers checking on him -- he might actually have re-injured his arm!

Back in the ring, Swagger is now taking it to CM Punk. Swagger has control but eventually Punk is able to escape and he tags in John Morrison to quickly gains momentum over Swagger.

At this point, we get word that the match is now 6-on-6 with Rey taken to the back because of the injury. Interesting.

JoMo eliminates Swagger and RAW has the advantage. Reks comes in for Swagger. JoMo scuffles with him for a big before tagging out to Sheamus. Reks actually holds his own pretty well with Sheamus until he wastes time pushing JoMo off of the apron and then runs right into a Brogue kick allowing Sheamus to eliminate him. The Big Show is in next against Sheamus.

Sheamus goes to the outside, shoves Hornswoggle down. This prompts Show to go after him on the outside. Because of this, both men are counted out. Show tried to get back into the ring in time, but couldn't. Team Smackdown! is now captainless, and Big Show hands the reigns (figuratively) to Edge, who remains only with Del Rio.

Edge and R-Truth go at it with Truth having the upper hand until he misses a the Scissor Kick and Edge hits the Spear eliminating Truth. JoMo runs in against Edge next and gets a near fall right away, and then tries for Starship pain but misses allowing Edge to hit another Spear and eliminate Morrison. Punk jumps in next and looks for a GTS, but Edge gets out of it and plants Punk with a DDT. Punk is down, and Edge looks for a third Spear. Punk is able to jump over Edge and Edge Spears the ring post instead. Del Rio tags himself in and starts assaulting Punk. Punk throws Del Rio into a beautiful backslide, embarrassing and eliminating Del Rio in one fell swoop. Edge is the only remaining member of Team Smackdown (unless we're gonna get a run-in from Rey).

Oh, yep. There's the run-in. Del Rio is leaving after his elimination, and Rey, who looks like his arm is actually hurt, comes out and attacks Del Rio from behind and then gets back into the match up looking for a tag from Edge. Punk is able to tag out to The Miz who is very fresh at this point and Miz is able to drag Edge away from making the tag. I love how this has boiled down to heels v. faces, though, that's kinda cool.

So, Miz does a great job of keeping Edge isolated and then he tags in Zeke who goes to work on Edge. Just eliminate him already! Come on! Zeke gets a near fall, but tags in The Miz when he can't finish the job. Miz also gets a near fall. Edge just won't stay down.

With Miz being in this match so late, it makes me think that we won't see a cash-in tonight. I was figuring, if he were to cash it in, he'd get eliminated pretty early, so that he was fresh for the cash-in. But the longer he stays in this match, the less fresh he is, even if he has a match-long break before cashing in.

So, Miz still can't finish Edge and he tags Punk back in who goes after Edge with a series of kicks/stomps. Punk slingshots Edge into the corner and looks for the Shining Wizard, but Edge ducks out of the way and picks Punk off of the ropes into an Electric Chair. With Punk down, Edge has a new opportunity to tag in Mysterio and he does, but even after 10 seconds in the ring, Rey is showing the effects of the injured arm. Punk looks for a GTS but Rey counters and then there's a series of reversals into near falls. Nice back and forth. However, after that, Mysterio hits the 619 on Punk and Punk is eliminated.

The teams are evened out to a standard 2-on-2 tag match now. Zeke comes in for Punk. After a few minutes, Zeke is set up for the 619, but Zeke gets out of it. Zeke tries to plan Mysterio, but Mysterio counters into a 619. Mysterio lands awkwardly on the pin, but it is indeed a pin and Zeke is eliminated despite some debate. The Miz, the only remaining member of RAW runs in. Rey sets him up for a 619 but Alex Riley interferes. Miz is set up on the opposite side then for another 619, but Alex Riley, this time, sacrifices himself for RAW and gets hit with it instead of Miz. Miz pins Rey, thinking he has it, but Rey kicks out. Miz looks for The Skull Crushing Finale, but Rey counters and runs to tag in Edge who is finally back on the apron. Edge runs in with a Spear and easily eliminates The Miz.

Edge celebrates, kissing the Stanley Cup Bragging Rights Trophy. Well, I'm glad to see that there were no traitors this year, and that two of the biggest names on SD were able to win it. I'm also happy that Smackdown has won 2 years in a row, even if they are the B-Show. Striker's little celebratory rant "In your face! Where it is, it's in your face!" was pretty hilarious, too. Good way to push Smackdown for the new network. Kudos :)


WWE Championship match: Randy Orton (c) v. Wade Barrett (w/ John Cena)

So, earlier in the night, in an impromptu match, Cena won the Tag Team Championship with David Otunga, but then planted Otunga with an Attitude Adjustment. It's obvious at this point, that Cena is still in this for himself and not at all a part of The Nexus. Will that change in this match? Will Cena help Barrett as he has been ordered? Will we see the epic Cena heel turn that I've been begging for?? Let's find out.

Barrett starts out telling Cena that if Barrett does not win this match tonight, then Cena is fired. So, how is this going to work without Barrett getting DQ'd?

OH MAN... I love this Minneapolis crowd. First a "we want blood" chant and now.... "fire Cena" actually made it in as an audible chant. Epic.

So, a few minutes into this match, Barrett tries to distract the ref so that Cena can interfere to help him. Cena does nothing. Barrett comes out to yell at Cena, and Orton attacks from behind. Cena just steps back as Orton goes to work on Barrett on the outside. Orton is wary of Cena though. I guess Cena realises that Barrett getting DQ'd does not working his favour as far as not getting fired.

So, Orton goes for the DDT off of the ropes, but Barrett pushes out of it, knocking Orton into the ref. The ref is down, and outside the ring and Barrett starts barking orders at Cena. Cena is up on the apron, but Orton pushes Barrett into him and Cena gets knocked off. Orton hits a Backbreaker. With Barrett and the ref both down, out comes The Nexus to attack Orton.

But then, Cena runs in and starts attacking The Nexus. Orton RKO's Slater and Cena clears the ring of the rest of The Nexus. Cena, though, is right. If the ref had seen The Nexus there, he would have lost. Cena had to do it. The ref comes to just as Barrett sets up the Wasteland. Orton powers out though and after a couple of Clotheslines he hits the Scoop Slam and goes to his scary place. Orton sets up the off-rope DDT a second time, and hits it this time. He then goes even deeper into his scary place, but Cena is right behind Orton and the ref is watching!

Cena comes in and delivers the Attitude Adjustment on Wade Barrett just as Orton was about to win. Cena grabs the belt from the ref, ready to give it to Orton, and Orton instead, gives him an RKO. Cena did get Wade the win, but Orton retains. Well, that wasn't how I expected that to go.

Orton is celebrating for awhile and then Barrett tries to sneak up from behind, but Orton is too quick and hits the RKO. So, Cena found a loophole wherein he remains face and doesn't get fired either. Also, notice how it wasn't Chioda ref'ing this match? That's because Chioda would've been back in the ring about 10 seconds after The Nexus ran out.

Ha, the replay of the match... I love Orton's face when Cena interferes, and I love how it looks like Cena actually offers himself to Orton for the RKO when he has the belt in hand. ALSO! Still not a fan of this Centon crap. Fuck it.
 
 
 
MB Punk
24 October 2010 @ 12:33 pm
Ok, folks. Quick post for my Bragging Rights predictions for tonight!


World Heavyweight Championship Buried Alive match: Kane (c) v. The Undertaker

This week on Right After Wrestling, Arda Ocal and Greg Sansone were spot on. I completely agree with them. The Undertaker, everyone knows, is not at 100% right now and this feud needs to continue until Wrestlemania. Therefore, The Undertaker will be the one who is buried alive, this will put him out of action at least until The Royal Rumble, if not later. Of course, there was a recent article wherein VKM said that if/when Cena's epic heel turn happens, he will face Undertaker at WM and the idea is that will be this year's WM. Either way, I can see 'Taker being buried alive in this match in order to put him out for some well-deserved recovery time.


WWE Championship match: Randy Orton (c) v. Wade Barrett (w/ John Cena)

Cena in Barrett's corner makes this match really hard to call. On Right After Wrestling, Greg Sansone came out and said that Orton would win, but Barrett and Cena would attack him after the match, and The Miz would come in to cash in his briefcase on the downed Champion. I think that would make for an epic angle. However, if we stick with the John Cena heel turn, I don't really think that taking orders from Barrett to bury Orton after the match is big enough. For the hell turn to be big enough, the least Cena would have to do would be help Barrett win. Sure, they're making Orton one of RAW's big faces right now, but it's not enough for Cena to beat him up. I think that Cena needs to beat him up and cost him the title and bring the title to The Nexus. There are other things that could be done to make this even more heely, but that's not really what this post is about. So, my prediction here is that Cena does help in one way or another and Barrett wins the title. Whether or not the Miz cashes in... I'm 50/50 on that, really don't see it happening, but it totally could.

If you're interested, though, I chose Orton winning as my "official" prediction on FourDown.org. Heh. I guess I'm conflicted.


Bragging Rights 7-on-7 Elimination Tag match: Team Raw v. Team Smackdown

This match was definitely more exciting last year. It's possible that we might see another turn-coat this year, with Edge only recently being traded back to Smackdown. His best times and peak of his career have been on SD, sure. But remember when he got traded to RAW earlier in the year and got big heel heat on his last day on Smackdown when he totally trashed the fans? That might come back. It's a big of a long shot though. I can see Smackdown winning 2 in a row, but the fact that RAW has really been made out to be the underdog (on RAW and Smackdown this week the teams competed in various singles/tag matches and Team RAW only won one match and that was Orton v. Kane thanks to Undertaker's gong-blackout interference).  Of course, Smackdown did just move to a new network (SyFy) and a win at Bragging Rights could be a good push for that. I gotta go with my gut though, and say Team RAW is going to win this year. Team RAW winning could even tie into the Mystery GM being revealed.



Divas' Championship match: LayCool (c) v. Natalya

It was announced on Smackdown that it will be Layla who competes in this match. It's a fact that Natalya can beat Layla, but I wonder if they want to continue this feud. Basically, it looks like they want to set Natalya up with the title so that she can have  a feud with Beth Phoenix, so when she wins the title pretty much depends on when Beth is coming back. I'm going to say that Natalya wins it tonight. However, it is entirely possible that Michelle interferes in the match and LayCool retain until there is some sort of 3-way match wherein LayCool definitively lose the title (because of course there is going to be some sort of title-related drama if only one of the members of LayCool is responsible for the title loss).


Champion v. Champion match: Dolph Ziggler (c) v. Daniel Bryan (c)

I think this will actually be a really great match to watch. Calling that Daniel Bryan wins it, though.


Apparently there's a Goldust/DiBiase match on the card too, but it's not on WWE.com's official match listing, so I'm not going to bother predicting it.

 
 
 
MB Punk
22 October 2010 @ 10:06 pm
So, as with RAW this week, we have both rosters on the show here tonight on Smackdown. Which means, we get to see Punk twice this week! Eee. Teddy Long announces that he will not be making the matches tonight, the Superstars will make them. Miz gets first pick. Also, I don't like the Miz and I don't like his promos much, but I do dig him calling Smackdown the B-Show lately (I only approve of it being called this since Punk is on RAW now :P). Miz announces a 6-man tag match: Miz, Ezekiel Jackson and Sheamus (the two biggest guys on Team RAW) vs. The Big Show, Kofi and Rey Mysterio (as chosen by The Big Show). Edge issues his challenge next: he wants CM Punk one-on-one! AGH! This'll be awesome! JoMo is next to issue his challenge, he wants Del Rio. Swagger is next and wants Santino (he also stole part of someone's promo, not you Miz, JoMo).


The Miz, Ezekiel Jackson & Sheamus vs. The Big Show, Rey Mysterio & Kofi Kingston

Match ends mostly in chaos and Team Smackdown picks up the win earning a pinfall over The Miz with some help from The Big Show. Not much else to say about this match. Team Smackdown seems to be winning all of the preliminary stuff... I wonder if that ultimately means that they will not win on Sunday... or if they just want to make RAW look like the underdog before they do win.


Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella

Bathroom break! So, this match, apparently served to further the feud between Hornswoggle and The Swagger Soaring Eagle. Yeah. I think WWE took Charlie Haas' comment about everyone having a feud a little too seriously. Swagger wins with the Ankle Lock.


Intermission

This message is brought to you by The Anti-Edge Coalition, Standing Up For Stupid, since 2010: Cody Rhodes' lip gloss is poppin'.

Seriously, why do we have to be subjected to these messages from "Dashing" Cody Rhodes?


John Morrison vs. Alberto Del Rio

Short match, surprisingly. Not interesting either. Del Rio wins with the Armbar, JoMo taps out. Smackdown has a streak just like the other boys in blue, the Toronto Maple Leafs ... 3-0, but the Leafs' streak ended at 5... so I can only imagine that so will Smackdown's.


Edge vs. CM Punk

Agh! So excited for this; it better be good! So, most of the first half of the match, Punk has control. We go to commercial, with Edge down outside the ring. At least this match is long enough to get a commercial break!

We return from commercial and Edge is back in the ring, but Punk is still in control with a Body Scissors. Edge gets out of the hold, but Punk stays on the offense. Punk has been working the midsection of Edge for pretty much this entire match -- makes me wonder how he's planning on ending it. GTS doesn't affect the midsection, neither does the Anaconda Vise... Does Punk have a new finisher, or is this just buying time for Edge to win. Desperation move from Edge, and both men are down. (Also, much like myself earlier with the Leafs reference, Cole also made a hockey reference -- must be the Canadian influence ;)).

Once they both get up, Edge gains control of the match-up but can't put Punk away just yet. Punk goes for a GTS, but Edge counters it for a 2-count pin and the match continues. Punk also gets a near fall, and is starting to get frustrated. Punk hits the Shining Wizard and goes for the Bulldog, but Edge counters it. Again, Edge is only able to get a 2-count pin.

Edge tries to go up to the top rope, but Punk hits a well-placed kick and Edge falls. Punk tries for a Superplex, but Edge fights Punk off and Punk hits the mat face-first. Punk is down, and Edge readies himself for the Spear. The crowd is pumped for this, urging Punk to get up just as Edge is. But, before Punk can get up, The Miz and Alex Riley run in. The DQ saves Punk, but also earns SD another win.

Kofi runs in to try to deal with Miz and Riley, but gets a Skull-Crushing Finale for his efforts. Reks comes in next, and finishes Miz. JoMo runs in and DDT's Reks. Del Rio runs in and deals with JoMo and then has to face Zeke. Zeke puts out JoMo and Swagger runs in with the Ankle Lock on Zeke and a Gutwrench Powerbomb on Santino. But Swagger gets the Brogue kick from Sheamus. Zeke is able to get back up in time to help Sheamus with The Big Show, but get s a Chokeslam for his efforts. Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick on Show. Mysterio runs in next and hits the 619 on Sheamus, but then Punk hits an epic GTS on Rey. Punk is celebrating, thinking he finally ended this chaotic showdown, but Edge is back and lurking and he's able to hit the Spear on Punk. I like how that came full circle back to the point where the match stopped for the DQ.


LayCool (c) vs. Natalya & Kelly Kelly

Uh... So LayCool come out to the ring dressed as Natalya (with a Neidhart beard) and Bret Hart. Michelle looks more like Slash than Bret. LOL, Striker said she looks like Otto the bus-driver from The Simpsons, lol! So true!

So, Cole announces that Natalya's match at Bragging Rights will be against Layla. Title is so gonna change hands. So... Layla is actually going to wrestle with the Neidhart beard, and Michelle is still dressed as Bret. I'd like to see her do the Faithbreaker in baggy jeans. I think Michelle might be the best Bret Hart impersonator ever, lol.

Is Kelly Kelly even going to get into this match? I mean, not that I care, but if she's not, then what was the point of this being a tag match? Anyway, Natalya locks in the Sharpshooter, despite Michelle trying to save Layla. Layla taps out, and Natalya and Kelly (who wasn't even in the match) win. Great way for Natalya to go into Bragging Rights. So, as part of the celebration, Natalya steals Layla's Neidhart beard, puts it on, and does her own Bret impersonation. Well, at least the teasing doesn't bother Natalya like it bothered Mickie James.


Champion vs. Champion: Randy Orton (c) vs. Kane (c) (w/ Paul Bearer)

Great Bragging Rights style match here. Unfortunately, we won't be seeing this match-up on the PPV since Kane has the Buried Alive match and someone needs to bury Barrett finally. But, I'm glad we get to see it on Smackdown. Makes it seem like a little bit less of a B-Show, right? A bit.

I'm gonna call it now, and say there's no finish to this match thanks to either Barrett/The Nexus or The Undertaker. I'm not sure who a win would favour more. Both guys kind of need the win going into Bragging Rights.

Toward the end of the match, Orton hits a Scoop Slam after Kane having all of the momentum. After the Scoop Slam, Orton clearly has control. He hits a DDT off the ropes on Kane and starts to get fired up until he runs into a Big Boot from Kane. Kane sets up the Chokeslam when Orton gets up, but as Orton is being picked up, gong sounds and the lights go out. When the lights come back on, Orton is coiled ready to strike behind Kane. Kane, even though he is FACING THE TITANTRON... doesn't see Orton behind him and he's confused about the blackout. Orton strikes with the RKO and gets the pinfall victory. Interesting (do I end all my reviews that way? lol).

Oh hay, we're still on the air. The Undertaker rips through from under the mat, and drags Kane to hell. Kane really sold that! Fuck, he was frightened. And that was a pretty neat spot, old-school and uber-hokey!
 
 
 
MB Punk
18 October 2010 @ 11:27 pm
So, I'm going to remain as neutral as possible on this whole Stand Up For WWE thing for the time being. I'm just using it as the title for this review because the video package they showed for it during the show took up quite a big chunk of time, and because it just debuted today. But yeah, neutral for now, for serious. Why? Because I live in Canada and know squat about what's going on as far as this whole senatorial campaign except for what I read about it on Twitter, and I feel like if I'm going to rant about political goings-on, I better educate myself. No like when I rant about wrestling and am completely ignorant :)

Anyway, back to our regularly scheduled review....


Hell yeah, RAW live from Calgary! Gotta love Canadian shows! Oh wait, last time I remember Smackdown being in my hometown of Hamilton, ON was one of the lowest points reached after the height that was Summerslam 2009. You better pull through this time, WWE. (Or was RAW in Toronto earlier this year? I don't even remember. Sue me, I just wanted to bitch about how bad that Hamilton SD was).

Show opens with Teddy Long... who gets boo'd! WTF? Who boo's T-Lo? He's like the most face GM in a long ass time. So, Teddy announces that he's taking over RAW, but the anonymous GM has a message for T-Lo and Cole looks pretty smug about it. The GM wants Teddy out of his ring, now! So, this whole thing is a plug for Bragging Rights, obviously, and there's a new trophy this year, that looks less like the Tri-Wizard cup and more like Stanley Cup. Fitting that they would unveil the new Stanley Cup-looking trophy in Canada :) I like it.

So, Teddy keeps talking and another email comes in. Teddy has to get out of the ring or else. Then he has a little showdown with Cole. The crowd starts chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" 2 or 3 emails come in without Cole being able to read them, and Teddy announces that he's disconnecting the RAW GM. He does so, and then continues on with his business, introducing Team Smackdown!

So, with all of Team Smackdown! in the ring, The Miz comes out to make fun of them. "It looks like Smurf Village grew up next to the nuclear power plant." And then, he calls Edge Smurfette. Lol. Miz talks a little more smack, and then introduces his Team Raw.

Punk is the first to come out and I'm a little confused. He recently debuted his ROH-blonde look at a house show... but now he's brown again.

Anyway, huge bombshell is also dropped - Ezekiel Jackson is back after months of being out. He's the 7th member of Team RAW taking the spot that was theoretically reserved for Mark Henry who is out of action for a bit with some family issues.

Anyway, Team RAW then storms the ring, and a brawl ensues. Team RAW eventually regroups on the outside. Show issues a challenge to The Miz for them to have a Captain vs. Captain match. Team RAW seems pretty excited about this, and Miz accepts. Then CM Punk calls Show a turkey. LOL.

Back at the announce table, King and Cole shoo Teddy Long back to Smackdown! and Striker. And Teddy leaves the announce table area... WITH THE RAW GM COMPUTER IN HIS HANDS lmao. He totally hijacked the RAW GM! ABSCONDED! As Cole later says.

RAW thought we needed reminding of what happened between Barrett and Cena last week, and I would have to agree, so here it is:




The Hart Dynasty v. Drew McIntyre (c) & Cody Rhodes (c)

Great match to start here in Calgary! Hometown heroes. And, I guess whatever was happening kayfabe between DH Smith and Tyson Kidd has been reconciled? I guess we'll find out as this match goes on, but there was some tension there over the past couple of weeks.

Well, it quickly becomes clear that there's trouble in paradise for this couple. DH Smith sets up Kidd for the Hart Attack but then stops and tries for a Sharpshooter. Kidd yells at him from the outside, and McIntyre is able to hit Futureshock on DH Smith who was trying to steal the glory. Kidd leaves ringside by himself while Natalya tells DH Smith "We are a time! You need to knock it off!" I agree.


Goldust (w/ Aksana) vs. Zack Ryder

Hey look, it's ECW about 12 months ago!

1 minute match. Goldust wins with a quick Final Cut. DiBiase runs out, then, and goes for the Million Dollar Belt. Aksana guards it and Maryse runs after her backstage, in their bare feet. Then Goldust hits the Final Cut on DiBiase. How is it that Goldust only ever hit his finisher like, twice on ECW, and now he hits it twice in 5 minutes? Lol.


John Cena & Randy Orton vs. Husky Harris & Michael McGillicutty

Wade Barrett has ordered Cena to give all he's got in this match. He wants Cena to test Harris and McGillicutty to see if they are good enough to be a part of The Nexus.

So, The Nexus are watching this match from the entrance ramp, too.

I actually really enjoyed this match. Cena and Orton delivered quite a beating, and they picked up the win. It was a pretty good match, but maybe a little short. So, Cena is celebrating after the win, and he wants to shake Orton's hand, but then all their old rivalry moments come back and Orton hesitates. Before anything happens, Barrett orders Cena not to shake Orton's hand and then orders that Cena GTFO the ring and go stand by the announce table.

Orton is left alone in the ring, and The Nexus surround him. Cena has front row seats to the Demise Of The Viper. Cena, despite his issues with Orton in the past, is distraught. He wants to help, for whatever reason, but can't. Orton tries to fend them off, but he can't. and The Nexus start beating on him, with Cena watching. The crowd chants for Cena, but Cena just stands there, helpless, as Orton gets beat in the ring by Barrett, Otunga, Slater and Gabriel.

At one point, Cena actually looks like he's either going to cry or vomit.

Eventually, Orton is set up for the 450° Splash. I love how they always comment about the victim's ribs... and never Gabriel's. So, Cena's still by the announce table, literally looking like he might have tears in his eyes and Barrett orders him to come into the ring. Cena takes his time, and Barrett yells at him to hurry up. Barrett then orders Cena to deliver an Attitude Adjustment to Cena. Cena yells at Barrett that he's had enough.

So, Cena puts Orton up on his shoulders. But then, Barrett decides he doesn't want Cena stealing his spotlight and orders Cena to give Orton to Barrett. Barrett delivers a pretty sad, almost stiff looking Wasteland on Orton who falls to the mat cringing. Cena finally leaves the ring, still looking like he's going to vomit as he makes his way up the entrance ramp.

So, I actually enjoyed his segment, because I'm a sadist. And then inefficiency had to ruin it for me by pointing out that it's total Centon. UGH. If I see one single person fangirl over Cena's "anguish" I might just stab out an eye.


Bragging Rights Promo: Dolph Ziggler (c), Vickie Guerrero & Daniel Bryan (c)

So, in an effort to hype Smackdown! for Bragging Rights, Vickie comes out and introduces Dolph. Daniel Bryan comes out to shut them up and issues a challenge to Dolph for Bragging Rights -- US Champ vs. Intercontinental Champ. Sounds like a plan to me, but didn't we see this last year? Miz vs. JoMo?

So, Dolph and Daniel Bryan scuffle, end up on the outside. Dolph taps out to the LaBell and a bunch of refs try to pull Bryan off of Dolph. Then out come a bunch of Divas ... who proceed to "humiliate" Vickie by tossing a pailful of glitter on her (which Gail Kim botched, BTW).

... The Divas then dance with Daniel Bryan. Yeah. If you didn't know... He's a nerd, but that's why I love him :) Weird segment though.


Alicia Fox vs. Natalya

Does Alicia have fewer moves than John Cena? Well... Cena did add that dropkick to his repertoire, so I'm gonna say yeah.

Anyway, superfast match. Natalya wins via submission with the Sharpshooter on Alicia. But, LayCool has to come out and ruin her celebration. These girls are great at getting really really really cheap heat. It's cold, your beer sucks, you say eh! Man. Kinda lame, lol. Also, I thought everyone liked Canadian beer more than American beer? But considering I'm straight edge, I really have no fucking clue.

So, they get their cheap heat, and then attack Natalya. Also, WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BROWN SMEARS ON THE MAT? Was Alicia really wearing that much make up when Natalya rubbed her all over the mat? Anyway. Michelle tries to put Natalya in a Sharpshooter, but Natalya counters it, and LayCool eventually flee.


Bragging Rights Captain vs. Captain match: The Miz vs. The Big Show
Bragging Rights Battle Royal

So, before this match started, they plugged the 14-man Tag Match of Team Smackdown vs. Team Raw for Bragging Rights, and despite them billing it as NOT BEING AN ELIMINATION match on Smackdown on Friday... it's now elimination. Fuck that. That somewhat eliminates the point. Because you're gonna have like, one guy left on the winning team, who takes all the glory... not the whole brand. It kinda fits into "bragging rights" but not if the idea is for brand bragging.

So, Miz comes out for this match. Team Smackdown is at ringside, plus a few others. Team RAW comes out with The Miz... and then the entire RAW locker room also comes out wearing Team RAW shirts. I think SD's a little outnumbered.

Teddy Long's not having this, though. He wants to plug Bragging Rights, and since both rosters are here... Teddy calls for a Battle Royal! Why, Teddy? Don't you know how much I hate reviewing matches with more than 8 dudes total? Even 8 is too many. Every fifth line is "chaos...." Anyway....

Three guys are eliminated early, didn't really notice who. The Usos and Shad? So, yeah. This is CHAOS.

...I'm kind of surprised to see Mark Henry in this match. I thought he was out with family issues? That's why he was gone last week. And I thought that was why he wasn't part of the Bragging Rights team.... Hm. Weird.

Considering Kozlov is so big, his fall to the outside when he was eliminated was pretty soft and almost graceful. Lol.

So, after a lot of chaos, most of the people left in the ring are from Smackdown, but RAW still has Miz, Daniel Bryan, CM Punk, Zeke, JoMo and Sheamus. JoMo and Del Rio eliminate each other at the same time. Swagger gets eliminated, but then pulls Edge out of the ring and locks in an Ankle Lock -- HE'S ON YOUR TEAM, IDIOT. Punk also got eliminated at some point, I think at the same time Swagger got eliminated. Kofi also got eliminated. Zeke eliminates Mysterio. Miz rolls out of the ring, and hides by the apron. Zeke, Sheamus, Daniel Bryan and Show are the only people left in the ring. Bryan is next eliminated. Zeke and Sheamus double team Show.

Show eliminates Zeke. Miz finally gets back into the ring after hiding and he and Sheamus double team Show trying to eliminate him, but Show hands on to the ropes on the apron. Edge comes back into this -- remember he wasn't eliminated, Swagger pulled him out from under the bottom rope. Edge easily eliminates Sheamus. Show and Edge are the last men standing and Team Smackdown wins this Battle Royal.

Smackdown's theme plays, and someone in the crowd yells, very loudly, "GO HOME!" I laughed so hard.

After this, they show The Nexus and Cena backstage. ProTip: Barrett, you don't get "crowned" when you win the WWE title... they give you a belt. I know you've never earned a belt in the WWE yet, but I assume you've at least seen enough shows to know that it's a belt and not a crown. Come on.
 
 
 
MB Punk
18 October 2010 @ 12:31 am
Despite hating the new theme song for Smackdown on SyFy the opening package has some pretty neat effects/graphics and I kinda dig it. So, this week we're live from the Rose Garden and we start out with a shot of The Undertaker standing atop the arena. Creepy.

And, Cole is on commentary again. WTF.


Bragging Rights Promo: Teddy Long

Teddy's pretty excited about Bragging Rights and is pretty sure that Smackdown! is going to win the trophy again this year. So, Team Raw this year is pretty interesting and today we get to find out who will be on Team Smackdown which is being led by The Big Show, once again, in a series of qualifying matches which will completely destroy any current storylines and put current feuds on hold for at least a week.


Bragging Rights Team Smackdown Qualifying match: Rey Mysterio v. Cody Rhodes (c)

Comments on this match -- it was actually a nice length. Cody Rhodes dominated for the first half, then Rey picked it up from the midpoint.

Rey picks up the win off of a 619 and he's now the second member of Team Smackdown.


Bragging Rights Team Smackdown Qualifying match: Jack Swagger v. MVP

Well, at least this feud is continuing despite these qualifying matches. Oh, wait... no one cares about this feud anyway.

MVP dominates for most of the match until he gets distracted on the outside by Swagger's Eagle. He tosses the Eagle into the announce table, which allows Swagger to jump on him from behind and shove him into the ringpost. Swagger gets MVP back into the ring and applies the Ankle Lock. MVP taps out almost immediately and Swagger is now #3 on Team Smackdown.


Bragging Rights Team Smackdown Qualifying match: Alberto Del Rio v. Chris Masters

Did Masters get a new theme? I thought he still had that weird Masterpiece instrumental. This new thing is pretty good, though.

Right away, Del Rio starts focusing on the left arm of Masters setting up for his Armbar and also taking the Master Lock out of the equation.

After only a short while, Del Rio is able to lock in the Armbar and Masters quickly taps out. Del Rio qualifies for Team Smackdown as its 4th member.


Bragging Rights Team Smackdown Qualifying match: Edge v. Dolph Ziggler (c)

Favourite part of this match: when Chimel was introducing Edge his voice when all deep for "Rated R..." and then cracked on "Superstar" really high pitched. I LOL'd.

So, Dolph, this week, comes out alone. No Kaitlyn, no Vickie. Thank goodness.

Not much specific to say about this match other than the fact that it was actually really fucking great. Edge won with a Spear on an air-borne Ziggler. Edge is Team Smackdown's 5th member.


Bragging Rights Team Smackdown Qualifying match: The Big Show v. Kaval

So, for this match, Kaval must survive in the ring for 5 minutes in order to earn his spot on Team Smackdown.

So, Kaval takes a beating from The Big Show (consisting mainly of giant chops and Show standing on Kaval's back and stomach), but does manage to survive the 5 minute clock and even puts forth a little offense in the last 30 seconds, and narrowly misses the Chokeslam in the last 4 seconds. According to Cole, Big Show "teached" Kaval a lesson. How did Striker not pick up on that error?

Kaval wins the 6th spot on Team Smackdown. But what happened next is probably best summed up by what Razor said:

...And then they shit all over it. After commercial, Tyler Reks, yes, Tyler Reks came in and challenged Kaval for his spot and won. Yes, Tyler friggin' Reks is going to be in the main event of a PPV, despite not being on WWE TV since ECW ended. What a boneheaded decision... seriously, one of the dumbest things I've seen WWE do this year. You have an awesome moment with Kaval looking like a big deal and finally getting to do something big since winning NXT, and then you just completely negate it by having him lose to a complete jobber that hasn't been on TV in months, and wasn't even entertaining in the first place? Wow WWE, just wow.


Seriously. Reks... yeah, I don't remember seeing him on TV since ECW, and even then he was on ECW like 5 times if that. *shakes head*

You're just trying to throw that trophy away aren't you, Smackdown? Also, WTF is up with T-Reks' new look? At least it's obvious that he's a heel now; but seriously, WTF. He looks like a bondage version of Rob Zombie... with Vance Archer's face.

So... we have Sheamus burying Daniel Bryan and Tyler Reks outshining Kaval. And people still want to say that those of us who say WWE doesn't use ROH talent properly are wrong? Yeah, ok. (Like I mentioned in my RAW Review: please, don't try to convince me that the WWE does use ROH stars properly when shit like this is happening every week now).

Anyway, Reks is member #6.


Bragging Rights Team Smackdown Qualifying match: Drew McIntyre (c) v. Kofi Kingston

So, who will the final member of Team Smackdown be? McIntyre or Kingston. I can't see Team Smackdown being Team Heel, so I think we need Kofi to win here. But I'd rather see McIntyre win this. I'm guessing Rhodes and McIntyre will have a title defence at the PPV though. Who knows. Let's find out....

Kofi wins this, quite literally from out of nowhere, with Trouble in Paradise. Beautifully executed, too. So, like I called, Kofi is Team Smackdown's #7.


Buried Alive Promo: The Undertaker & Kane (c) (w/ Paul Bearer)

So, throughout the show, there've been clips of a very contemplative looking Undertaker. And Paul Bearer called 'Taker out for one last chance against Kane in a Buried Alive match at Bragging Rights.

Thought: anyone know when the last Buried Alive match was?

Anyway, this was another great segment between 'Taker and Kane. Say what you will about how this is all "hokey" or whatever, but I still really dig it.

Best part: "And it's rare that you see The Undertaker make his way to the ring as quickly as he just did." Love that Striker commented on that because that is exactly what I was thinking since I usually comment on how epically long his entrance is. Lol. Actually, no scratch that; best part was the epic stare down Undertaker gave to Kane and Paul Bearer and Kane and Bearer both edging backwards before 'Taker started taking it to them. Lol.

Oh, then, 'Taker stole Kane's pyro and once Kane and Bearer were at the top of the entrance ramp, 'Taker summoned a lightening bolt which hit them right on the urn. It was kind of epic. The urn is no more, I guess?
 
 
 
MB Punk
12 October 2010 @ 09:14 pm

MBPunk.LiveJournal.com issues the following official proclamation:

As of 9:14PM Eastern time October 12, 2010, MBPunk.LiveJournal.com has officially become a Matt Hardy-free zone in an effort to prevent exposure to the Matt Hardy virus.

The Matt Hardy virus is known to cause the following symptoms: delusions of grandeur, loss of motivation, nonsensical rambling, dilated pupils, slurred speech, quick changes in personality and a sudden insatiable appetite for grapes. [It has also been known to slap tomatoes].

The virus seemed relatively benign upon its discovery more than decade ago, when it was overshadowed by its close relative. These viruses generally caused fits of excitement, particularly in young women, but the effects were rarely lasting. In 2003, it suddenly mutated into the more powerful V.1 strain. Thanks to the eradication of its “brother,” efforts were redoubled to remove this scourge.

When it seemed at its weakest, though, the virus somehow mutated again, into its infamous “Angelic Diablo” strain (yeah, we think the name is strange, too). Symptoms included paranoia and revealing far too much about your personal life. But a radical plan was hatched to bring the virus back into the general population, where it was rendered largely harmless.

Unfortunately, despite five years of success, this plan is no longer working. The Matt Hardy virus is spreading and has even formed a "MATTHEW" variation. This quarantine is the only way to keep MBPunk safe from great peril.

Remember: Only you can stop the spread of the Matt Hardy virus.

We will keep you abreast of any further developments. Thank you for your time. (Source; Jason Maan @ Wrestlespective.)